Pros and cons to having boobs:
-finding tops/dresses which fit
-the lying on ur front issue
-wrapping urself in a towel (harder than it sounds)
-they get cold in the bath bc theyre not in the water
-back ache ow
-swimming costumes and bikinis
-“my eyes are up here”
-running. like jfc
-pAiNN during periods
The Pro’s win….
it’s funny ‘cos it’s true!
"Got any whores?"
"Sure. Cost you 150 bucks."
"Goddamn! I don’t want to buy the thing, I jes want to rent it for half an hour!"
Him: “Do you want to hear a story about my penis? Don’t worry, it’s too long!”
Her: “Do you want to hear a story about my vagina? Don’t worry, you’ll never get it!”
Sometimes, you just gotta share stuff that’s been around a while…funny stuff, basic, street humour.
Where are the Robin Williams’ jokes?
I mean he was known to use the term “too soon?” - he would have expected to have the piss taken out of him.
A master of comedy, a great actor, philanthropist and an inspiration to so many has left all of us way too soon.
May the world never forget Robin Williams and his gift in making people laugh.
Chris Pratt isn’t the only star who hit the gym for Guardians of the Galaxy…
A man received the following text from his neighbour:
*I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get it at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t, ever happen again.*
The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.
A few moments later, a second text came in:
*Bloody autospell! I meant “wifi, not “wife” … . .*
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.
Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.”
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy”.
Hillary tosses her perfectly sprayed hair and says, “Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $100 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.”
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, “I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy.”