Roughly translated, the sign means “Moose Parking - limit 2 hours”…
He failed history but was introduced to a new group of friends…
"Oh, they have the internet on computers now!"
"Morticia, have I made you very unhappy?"
“Oh yes, my darling, completely.”
Via Life as a Closeted Little
You know you’ve reached middle age when all you exercise is caution….
The truth hurts.
Let’s face it, with the fashions Ken wears, I doubt it’s Barbie that makes him happy…
A man charged with assault and battery was about to be declared guilty at his trial.
His lawyer shook his head and had nothing more to add to the defense.
The defendant spoke up, insisting that he had only pushed his victim ‘a little bit.’
When he was pressured by the prosecutor to illustrate just how hard, the defendant turned to his lawyer, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels of his jacket and flung him over the table.
He then faced the judge and jury and calmly declared, “I would say it was about one-tenth of that.”
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During World War II, I hid a refugee in my attic."
“Well,” answers the priest, “that’s not a sin.”’
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed."
“I admit that wasn’t good, but you did it for a good cause.”
"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."
“What is that, my son?”
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"